Statement of Faith

I believe there is only one God (Rom. 3:30, Gal. 3:20, Isa. 43:10-11, Isa. 44:6-8, Mark 12:29-34, Eph. 4:6), who is the eternal, immeasurable, and omnipotent ruler of all. (1 Tim. 1:17, 1 John 3:19-20, Matt. 19:26, Rev. 19:6, Eph. 3:20) He has neither beginning nor end. (Rev. 1:8, Rev. 4:8, Gen. 1:1) Because I believe these things about God, I reject the belief that He was once a man who was elevated to Godliness, because that would require the confines of human limitations to be placed upon Him, and would negate his eternal omnipotence. As He always was, as He always is, and as He always will be. (Rev. 1:8) Likewise, as a man, he would be a created being, negating the eternal nature of God having no beginning or end. In the same manner, I reject the idea that any mere person may be elevated to the status of godliness. I believe God to be the same in form and power throughout the ages. I reject the idea that God the Father consists of flesh, blood, and humanly materials on the same basis as I reject a once-human state. (Num. 23:19)

            I believe God to be a Spirit (John 4:24), but the language cannot clearly define the meaning. When I speak of God as a Spirit, I do not mean as one entity such as a soul, that occupies one space and time. God is indefinable and unfathomable. By Spirit I mean all-encompassing light, love, goodness, energy, and life. (I John 4:8, Isa. 60:19, John 1:3-5) Not one entity in a singular location, but an entity that is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. Because of the all-powerful nature of God, and because He is not confined to a solitary physical body, I believe that Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost are also God, manifested in different forms and charged with unique tasks, but still branches of the same entity and Spirit that is God.

This is the Trinity: not that three separate Gods exist, or that three separate beings exist, but one God exists in three manifestations, each of the same all-encompassing power and being. (1 John 5:7-8, John 10:30) God the Father, who exerts His presence over the heavenly realm. (Ecc. 5:2, Ps. 115:3, Luke 11:2, Matt. 23:9) Jesus Christ, who as the same Spirit of God also has no beginning or end, and was neither created nor can be destroyed, and by whom as The Word the Earthly realm was created. (Gen 1:1, John 1:1) In order to provide salvation and atonement (that is, freedom from our sins and the bonds of human and worldly sinfulness, and the gift of eternal life in the heavenly realm) The Word was born into a human body, which retained a human consciousness and human functions, desires, and needs along with the Spirit of God manifest as The Word within him. (John 1:14, 1 John 4:9-11) These were not two separate consciousnesses or entities inhabiting one physical body, but the Spirit of God manifest as The Word engulfing the consciousness that was man, so that the two became one. Because of his Godliness, Jesus was able to live fully according to what was commanded in the Old Testament and the Law, and therefore was able to break the bondage of sin and the condemning Law for the world by sacrificing Himself as a blood sacrifice as dictated in the Law was needed for the atonement of sins. (Lev. 17:11, Heb. 9:22, Rev. 1:5, 1 John 4:10, 2 Cor. 5:18-19) The curse of the Law and sins’ grasp on the world being broken, and mortal death being hence conquered, Jesus was fully resurrected from the dead. (Matt. 28:1-10, Mark 16:1-8, Rom. 6:8-11) Because of his perfect and sinless life (1 John 3:5), the Son of Man did not separate from the Word (that is God) upon resurrection, but ascended into the heavenly realm in perfect bodily form. (Acts 1:9-11, Col. 2:9) Because through his sacrifice on Earth He also freed us from that bondage, we too will experience glorified bodies as Christ does in the heavenly realm. (Rom. 6:4-5, Phil. 3:21, 1 John 3:2) In order for this to happen, our hearts must be open and accepting of this truth in faith. (Gal. 3:11, 22-26; John 3:16, Rom. 8:38-39, Rom. 10:9-10, Eph. 2:8-9)

            The third manifestation of God, the Holy Ghost, manifests itself on Earth. (John 14:26, Acts 1:8, Rom. 8:27) The Holy Ghost is of the same will and power as the Father and Christ the Son, because it is of the same entity and Spirit in a different manifestation. The Holy Ghost is the manifestation of God that directly affects us, dwelling within us to guide us and lead us. (Luke 11:13, Rom. 5:5, Acts 5:32) The Holy Ghost is the presence of God within the Earthly realm until Christ returns to Earth, when the two realms shall become one. The Holy Ghost inspires us and leads us to the knowledge and the will of God. It also inspires us in faith through the understanding and acceptance of that knowledge. (Eph. 1:17-22, John 14:26)

Twelve Days of Christmas

Because my birthday falls on January 6th, which is Epiphany, I began researching the twelve days leading up to that date. These twelve days are commonly known as The Twelve Days of Christmas. Yes, the twelve days of Christmas come AFTER Christmas, not before. The season before Christmas is known as Advent, which us a time of preparation for the coming of the Savior. Christmas begins on December 25, and lasts through Twelfth Night on the evening of January 5th. January 6th begins the season of Epiphany, where we celebrate Christ's manifestation to the world as the Son of God and the Savior, beginning with the visit of the Magi.

1. Christmas day was the First Day of Christmas, when God (our true Love) sent his one and only Son to become atonement for our sins (much like a partridge in a pear tree, who is known to feign injury to decoy predators and protect her helpless nestlings).

2. The Second Day of Christmas - In Catholicism this is also known as the Feast of St. Stephen, and is celebrated by giving leftovers of the Christmas feast to the poor as described in the carol "Good King Wenceslas." In relation to the song, we can view this as the day when our true Love gave us two turtle doves, that is, the two Testaments, old and new, that proclaim the word of God. Turtle doves are often used to represent devout love and faithfulness. When Jesus was brought to the temple to be consecrated after his birth, two turtle doves were sacrificed in accordance with the Law of Moses.

3. The Third Day of Christmas - This is the day when our True love gave to us three French hens, which can be viewed as the Three Theological Virtues. These three virtues are faith, hope, and love - but the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor. 13:13)

4. The Fourth Day of Christmas - On this day our True love gives to us four calling birds (or colly, in the original English tradition). These birds represent the four gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Today is also the Feast of the Innocents, which remembers the thousands of children who were slaughtered by Herod in his fearful search for the one who was prophesied about. This event is commemorated in the well-known Coventry Carol.

5. The 5th Day of Christmas - Today our gift from our True Love is five golden rings, which represent the five Books of Moses: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. These books are also known as the Torah. They outline the history of our sinful humanity and introduce us to God's grace through the promise of a Savior.

6. The 6th Day of Christmas - This day celebrates the 6 days of creation. Just as geese a-laying is the beginning of new life, so was the creation that gave life to all around us. Today is also the Catholic feast of the Holy Family, which is a great day to be thankful for the blessing of family and strive to live in the faithful love that the Holy Family exemplified.

7. The Seventh Day of Christmas - Our True Love gives to us seven swans a-swimming, which represents the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. "If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." (Rom. 12:6-8 NIV) This is an especially interesting thing to think about as we enter a new year and set our resolutions, as we can think about the gifts that we have been given personally and how to best use them this year to the glory of God.

8. The Eighth Day of Christmas - On the eighth day of Christmas our True Love gives to us eight maids a-milking. These young ladies represent the Beatitudes. These are eight blessings given by Jesus in his Sermon on the Mount. They demonstrate his teaching of love and humility, and exhibit God's mercy and compassion.

1. “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
2. Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
3. Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
4. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
5. Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
6. Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
7. Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
8. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:3-10 NIV)

9. The 9th Day of Christmas - This day our gift from our True Love is nine ladies dancing. The nine stand for the fruits of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, generosity, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). These are given to us as guidelines for how to live a life in Christ and love one another.

10. The 10th Day of Christmas - Today our gift from our True Love is ten lords a-leaping. We can view them as representative of the Ten Commandments given to Moses on Mount Sinai.

11. The 11th Day of Christmas - Almost there! On the 11th day of Christmas our True Love gives us eleven pipers piping, which represent the eleven faithful apostles. It doesn't include Judas who betrayed Jesus. I also find the pipers to be symbolic of the apostles who, after the ascension of Christ, traveled, taught, and proclaimed the good news of a risen savior.

12. The 12th Day of Christmas! On this day our True Love gives to us twelve drummers drumming. They stand for the 12 point of the apostles creed, which is statement of the Christian faith and beliefs. Tonight is also Twelfth Night, which celebrates the end of the Christmas season and marks the coming of Epiphany. Some traditions that historically take place on Twelfth Night are drinking wassail, baking pastries and cakes, and overall merrymaking. In Tudor England, Twelfth Night was considered the end of the Winter Festival that began on All Hallow's Eve. Christmas decorations were also traditionally taken down on Twelfth Night. The most famous literary reference is the Shakespeare play by the same name.

On Talking Donkeys

For the last six months I have been working my way through the Bible. I started with the New Testament, and then moved on to the Old Testament. My reasoning behind reading it in that order was to become more well-versed in the events surrounding the coming of the Messiah so I could more easily recognize the parallels and prophesies concerning it in the Old Testament.

If I can be completely honest, I struggle with the Old Testament. Somewhere mid-Genesis I found myself alternately appalled and bored. Currently I am reading the Book of Numbers. Come to find out, it literally is a book full of numbers. Imagine that! The book includes detailed census counts of the Israelites as they wandered the desert.

Last night I was feeling especially down in the dumps, and decided to continue my reading. Admittedly, I wasn't excited about more OT numbers, details, and blood, but I was still searching for some kind of comfort. I began reading at Numbers 22. The chapter recounts the story of a man named Balaam who the Midianites try to entice into cursing the people of Israel. God commands Balaam that he must not curse the people of Israel, because they are a blessed people. Anyway, the part of the story that struck me was Balaam and his donkey. Balaam started down a path that was contrary to what the Lord had commanded, so the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. (Numbers 22:22) Balaam's donkey was able to see the angel of the Lord, but Balaam was not, so the donkey kept doing whatever she could to avoid going further down the path. Because Balaam could not see that the path was blocked by the angel of the Lord, he continued to beat his donkey for her disobedience. Finally, the Lord gave the donkey the power to speak, and she laid quite a guilt trip on her master. The Lord then opened Balaam's eyes and he was able to see the the angel of the Lord.

The angel of the Lord asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her." Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road of oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back." - Numbers 22:32-34 (NIV)

Why did this story strike me? It is very easy to follow what I want. It isn't always so easy to see the Lord opposing my choices. I think sometimes I am a bit like Balaam, following a path that I think is the best, when all the while the Lord is standing in opposition. It is easy to lash out and place blame on the things around me that I feel like are causing me problems, like Balaam lashing out on his donkey, when those things may simply be placed there as intentional stumbling blocks meant to hinder my progress down the wrong path. Perhaps the things that I see as standing in my way are actually things that guard me from utter disaster. I just find it unfortunate that I don't have a talking donkey to tell me so.

Pointing to a Random Verse

I wasn't quite sure if it was an acceptable thing for me to do, but I thought it was worth a try. I was in a state I can only describe as extreme frustration, praying desperately that God help me to see His path for my life. I opened my Bible and pointed to a verse at random. I opened my eyes, looked down, and read the words under my finger: "You have made known to me the paths of life"...really? REALLY?! I felt discouraged. If I already knew my path, why would I be asking so fervently? Dwelling on this, I noticed that I had gotten so caught up in the first part of the verse, I had ignored the second part: "you will make me full of gladness with your presence." (Acts 2:28) Ah ha. I do know the paths of life after all. I need to rejoice in the fact that God is always present with me, and will always be there to guide me. I just need to actually trust Him and listen! I am not supposed to know exactly what is in store for me, God will reveal it to me when we get to it.

You have made known to me the paths of life, you will make me
full of gladness at your presence. - Acts 2:28

Falling Off the Bull

Summertime gives me a great chance to finally slow down and think about things. It also gives me the time to come up with sappy analogies. Bear with me here! I'd like to compare our troubles in life to a rodeo. More specifically, bull riding. I apologize in advance to all of those real tried-and-true cowbows out there, my knowledge of the sport is pretty much limited to the stands at the county fair and the movie "8 Seconds." Reguardless, it is the best analogy I can think of to illustrate my point.

Imagine yourself as a rookie bull rider. You have never been on a bull before, but you trust in yourself and your natural ability. As you wait behind the gate, the feeling is indescribable. You feel the adrenaline rush, like you could conquer anything. You feel certain you will be an all-star your very first time. The gate opens...you tighten your grip...the bull bursts from the shoot and it is a purely exhilarating experience...for all of half a second. One moment you are on top of the world (and the bull), the next you are flat on your back in a cow pie. You could quit right there. After all, you didn't succeed like you were sure you would. Your coach picks you up (do they have coaches in bull riding? I don't know, but in my story they do) and brushes you off. He gives you directions and guidance as you climb on again. As the gate opens, though, the rush is too much. Everything your coach told you has been lost in the exhilaration of the moment, and before you know it you are reunited with that cow pie. Time and time again, your coach picks you up and gives you guidance and directions, and time and time again you get caught up in the excitement and the visions of your own glory. Before long, frustration sets in and for the life of you, you can't figure out why you try and try but always end up with the same painful results.

Each time you fall, though, your coach is there to pick you up. As he is giving you yet again more guidance, you realize that you have been focusing on entirely the wrong things. Your goal has been the exhilaration and excitment of the moment, and achieving glory for yourself. Finally, you listen to what your coach has been saying all along. You will still fall off the bull from time to time, but your with you coach's guidance the pain of falling becomes much less. By focusing on the guidance of your coach rather than your own exhilaration and glory, you are finally able to achieve that glory. Not because of yourself, but because of He who gives you strength and guidance.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Trinity Lutheran - South Divide in Sidney, Nebraska

Hand It Over

Pastor greeted me after church. "You seem so much happier lately!" he remarked. "What changed?" I paused. What has changed? I gave the run-of-the-mill answer, "Things are just getting better!" Driving home, I really started considering it. I can definitely feel a change, but can I pinpoint the cause? Yes, I believe I can. It's all about control. I will admit it. My name is Jessica, and I'm a control freak.

 People have been telling me for a long time that I need to relinquish control over to God. Yeah, yeah, I know I would respond. I acknowledged that giving up control was what I needed, but it seemed like an entirely impossible task, and some deep down part of me still held on to the self-absorbed notion that I need to get what I want despite what God wants. Yes, I prayed for guidance, but it was with a feeling of "please guide me to what I want." As I was reading scriptures one night, though, I noticed something. Jesus' disciples didn't spend their time with him constantly asking where their lives were going, or for earthly things they desired. If they didn't focus on those things when they talked to Jesus, why did I? It suddenly didn't make sense, and I honestly had a moment where I felt extremely selfish. If the disciples weren't asking Jesus for help and guidance in their personal lives, what did they ask him? They asked for understanding. The disciples were frequently asking Jesus to explain his teachings, and were focused on their eternal lives rather than their mortal lives. They were so ready to hand control over to Christ that they shed control of their own personal lives, dropped everything, and followed Him.

The things I want in my life are not necessarily the reason God put me here. I don't understand the purpose God has for me yet, but that's ok! That realization wasn't so bad. The part that I am struggling with is being alright with it if I don't get the things that I want, and trusting that while gaining understanding and working as an instrument of God, He will provide for me. Yes, I'm still a work in progress, but I'm working through it step-by-step!

The Great Grace vs. Works Debate

For by grace you have been saved, through faith, and that not of yourself, it is a gift of God, so that no man may boast. Eph. 2:8-9

The Grace vs. Works debate is a big one. The popular worldly view is if you are a "good person," you will go to heaven. For many, doing good things is what it's all about. If you are a good person, and live your life according to a set of morals and values, you will surely be ok, right?

Here is the problem with that scenario. Works do not create grace. Works are a result of grace. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." -Romans 3:23. None of us are able to live perfectly, so if we are saved by living a good life, where is the line? We would have to have a 'sin quota,' which would be absolutely impossible to keep track of. The reality is, there is no way anyone on Earth could live a good enough life to rely on our own works.

If we aren't saved by our works, does that mean we can sin freely without having to worry about it? Absolutely not! When you have received the saving grace of God, you must let that grace shine to the rest of the world. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16. By doing good works, we manifest the love and glory of God that has been bestowed upon us. Our works are a means to demonstrate to others the blessings of our Lord, and to identify us as his people. In addition, Jesus taught that hearing his words, but not actually putting them into practice, is like building a house on sand. (Matthew 7:24-27) If we profess to be followers of Christ, but disregard his teachings, we become more susceptible to corruption and the sways and temptations of the devil. One of the most powerful ways we can witness to others is by letting His grace shine through us. There is truth to the sentiment "actions speak louder than words." If we consciously demonstrate the grace of God in our day to day lives, we are truly ambassadors of Christ before we ever even speak to someone about salvation.

"Sola gratia, sola fide, sola scriptura,
solus Christus, soli Deo gloria" - Grace alone, faith alone,
scripture alone, Christ alone, glory to God alone.

Jesus taught that he is the only path to salvation. “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

The fact is, our judgement is not based on what we have done. Christ became the propitiation (atoning sacrifice) for our sins because we could never measure up. No matter how hard we try, we cannot overcome our sinful nature on our own. Christ took up the burden of our sins for us, and in return gave us saving grace. All that is asked of us is that we have faith.

Christ is the culmination of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes. Moses writes this about the righteousness that is by the law: “The person who does these things will live by them.”But the righteousness that is by faith says: “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’”(that is, to bring Christ down)“or ‘Who will descend into the deep?’”(that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim: If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:4-13

The Perils of Being a Single Christian Woman

I will admit it, I am completely baffled by today's society. We live in the land of instant gratification. Anything we want can virtually be at our fingertips moments after we think it. While I will concede that this convenience can be really nice, in the larger picture I find it is representative of our over-all cultural mindset. How does this tie into being a single Christian woman? Stay with me here.

I was raised with the notion that an upstanding and moral woman is to be desired.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
It seems in today's society, though, that a woman who chooses to live by a set of values is to be scorned. Rather than being sought after, more often than not I feel shunned, earning labels like "uptight" (and other less pleasant terms). I find myself living in a society where attending church is unfashionable, and those who attend regularly are seen as extremists.

We live in an age where pornography is a $13 billion industry. A vast number of boys grow up forming their views of relationships on these violent and unrealistic images. Many go in search of instant gratification. Everything else in our society is ready and available, after all. My generation has been trained to get what we want, when we want it. That being so, we seem to have lost the concept of the pursuit, the journey.

I have to hold on to the faith that all hope is not lost, and there are still those out there that uphold a woman who chooses to serve the Lord. I will be the first to admit that I am far from perfect, and far from righteousness if being judged on my own actions. I will not, however, set aside my beliefs and moral fiber to fit in with society or gain affection from someone who tries to force me to settle for anything less than a harmonious union, with Christ as the tie that binds. Maybe, just maybe, there are still men who choose the same.

Love?

Having been thrust into the world of "singledom" yet again, it has given cause for me these last few months to really consider the basic concept of love. Doing a simple Google search for what love is led me to a list of definitions for love found on the web:
- A strong positive emotion of regard and affection
- Any object of warm affection or devotion
- Having a great affection or liking for
- Beloved: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment
- Get pleasure from
- A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction
- Being enamored

Writers, poets, and philosophers have been writing about love for centuries. Aristotle said "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." According to St. Augustine, "Love is temporary madness." W. Somerset Maugham even said "Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species."

As I consider these statements on what love is, I can't help but think there must be more. The common wordly view of love seems kind of vague, and even a bit hollow. Then, I was reminded of 1 John 4:8 which says "God is love." Most of the time when I hear people discuss this concept, it is divided into two parts: our imperfect love, and God's perfect love. If we take this statement literally, though, that which we refer to as "love" is the one and the same as God. Notice, this passage does not say "God has love," or "God shows love," but that "God IS love." Therefore, when we feel love toward another, we are experiencing direct contact with God in our lives. When we show and demonstrate love towards others, we are sharing God with them. There is a reason Jesus said that to love is the greatest commandment of all!

Bringing this back to my original predicament, searching for someone to spend my life with, I have made a revelation. If I search for love according to the world's standards, I am searching for something superficial. No wonder so many relationships fail! From here on out, I am making the decision to search for someone to share God with. The way I see it, if we share God, we share a love that transcends the world.

This morning in Bible Class we discussed 1 Corinthians 13, otherwise known as the "Love Chapter." This chapter is frequently used in wedding ceremonies, but the words seem to have become almost pithy, and judging from our national divorce rates obviously have no real impact on how many of us show love to one another. If we remember, though, that God (the term encompassing the Triune God; God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit) quite literally is love, we can gain an entirely new perspective on Paul's Love Chapter in 1 Corinthians. By replacing the word love with the word God, who is love Himself, the chapter reads:

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have God, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have God, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but have not God, I gain nothing.

God is patient, God is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He does not dishonor others, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always perseveres.

God never fails."

Can we achieve this kind of love on our own? No. Because we are meek and sinful humans, we don't have that kind of power. But with God working through us, and by the salvation of our Lord Jesus Christ, we can strive to follow His example.


"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." - 1 John 4:7-12

The Power of Prayer

It has been awhile since I've written a post. It seems we think about things less when things are going well. Lately, though, I've been thinking quite a bit about the power of prayer. I am a firm believer that prayer works. I fully believe that God loves us, and knows every fleeting thought in our minds. When you focus these thoughts into prayer, and talk to God about your needs, He will always take care of you. Let me use my own experiences as an example. I had ended a relationship where God was not important. More than that, He was completely shut out. After it was over, I found that without God I am just an empty shell, wandering with no real purpose. I began to pray for God to fill me with his Spirit, to let His light and love shine through me and onto those around me, for my life to follow the path laid out for me. I made this the focus of my life. Every day, I felt the shell of my body being filled with this amazing "wholeness." Love and light began to feel like tangible things, emanating from my core. Being unemployed, the next step was to find a job. At this point I had put in somewhere around 80 applications over the course of several months, and had gotten no response. I began to pray about it, and within the next two days I was contacted by 7 prospective employers. If I know anything, I know this: that there is nothing so wondrous as the presence of God in my life.

'Have faith in God,' Jesus answered. 'I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "Go, throw yourself into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 11:22-24

I Once Was Lost...

There is one phrase that really annoys me: "You just have to find yourself." I admit, I am guilty as charged of uttering this myself, but simply as a cliche when I had nothing else to say. Perhaps that it why it bothers me. It's a cliche. What does it really mean to "find yourself?"

If you have to find yourself, it implies that the essence of who you are is lost. This leads to the question, what is the essence of who you are? We can discover this by examining your priorities. There are some who are only concerned with worldly gains and pleasures: Making money, feeling good, being content. My brother gave me a good litmus test. Think of the 5 things that are most important for you to do in your lifetime. When you look at this list, how many things are just for your own temporary happiness rather than your eternal well being? The material things of this world are perishable, and everything has an expiration date. If you concern ourselves with only these things that won't last, then you surely are lost.

Jesus spoke numerous times about finding what is lost. These people were losing coins, sheep, even sons. Each of these have basically the same point, though. If we are lost, He will come looking for us. Let me repeat this: If we are lost He will come looking for us. Perhaps this is the root of what bothers me about trying to find yourself. It is not I who is finding myself, it is Christ finding me. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost. Luke 19:10 If you focus yourselves on your role in the Body of Christ rather than your gains in the material world, you then find yourself with a solid and eternal purpose.

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul wrote about "finding yourself," not in a self-serving worldly way, but rather in a way that serves the will of God.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22-24

The Note

The other day I was discussing my last blog with my mom. We were reminiscing, talking about that time in our lives, when she mentioned she was surprised I hadn't mentioned the note. "What note?" I asked. "Don't you remember?" my mom responded, "The note you found after her funeral." It hit me like a wave. How could I have forgotten?

I really struggled with her death. At the funeral, I felt the preacher was looking mostly at me, the one hysterically crying in the front row. Not too long afterwards, I was trying to grapple both with the loss as well as moving away from home to attend college. I was going through my backpack, and in one of the front pockets I found a folded piece of paper. I unfolded it, and immediately recognized her bubbly handwriting. On the paper was written a simple sentence, but it was enough to cause me to fall to my knees.

"Everything will be alright."

How is this possible? I thought. Logic told me this hadn't been recently placed there, but I couldn't recall ever seeing it before that point. The words echoed in my mind. Everything will be alright. Reassurance, when I needed it most.

Now, as I face struggles in my life I never imagined, I have to cling to this simple phrase. Everything will be alright. Have faith. Trust. I may feel like I'm free falling, but I will not hit ground. These four words, given to me as a profound gift in a dark hour of my life, hold immeasurable truth and comfort. No matter what troubles befall me, everything will be alright.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Shine

Music has an uncanny ability to reach deep down into us and pull up emotions we thought were long past laid to rest. Certain songs firmly affix themselves to memories, and have the power to place us back in that experience. For me, this song is "Shine" by Collective Soul.

In 2001, as a senior in high school, my best friend died in a car accident. My mother and I drove to the funeral together, and as we were approaching the church "Shine" came on the radio. Up to this point I had liked the song simply because I thought it was catchy. Now, with my friend on my mind, the words struck a new chord with me:

"Give me a word, give me a sign,
show me where to look and tell me what will I find
Lay me on the ground and fly me in the sky,
show me where to look and tell me what will I find

Oh, Heaven let your light shine down.....

Love is in the water, love is in the air,
show me where to look - tell me will love be there
Teach me how to speak, teach me how to share,
show me where to look - tell me will love be there

Oh, Heaven let your light shine down.....

I'm gonna let it shine, I'm gonna let it shine
Heaven let your light shine on me"

In that moment, I knew God's light was shining on me. I felt that assurance that she was in Heaven, shining brightly and surrounded by unconditional love. I thought about all she'd taught me during our time together; how to love, to speak, and to share; and prayed that I would continue in these lessons.

I do not seek out this song, and I have never bought a copy. Perhaps it is nothing but coincidence, but it always seems to find me when I least expect it, but need it the most. When this song comes on, as it did this morning on my drive to work, I pause to reflect on the promise of Heaven though God's love, how He continues to work through my life, and my friend who is shining down on me.

Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness like the stars for ever and ever. - Daniel 12:3

The Purpose

What's the purpose, what's the point? This is the underlying question. This is my journey to make this discovery, the chronicle of my thoughts and discoveries, both significant and fleeting. Every experience in my life is an opportunity to learn, grow, or correct something. God has given each of us our own journey, our own uniquely designed path. Here is mine.

My path is not always straight, and it is not always paved. There are rough patches, steep slopes, distracting billboards and messages, and confusing intersections. Navigating this road by myself would be a nightmare. Left to travel down the road myself I would be uncertain where to go, and unsure of my destination. Thankfully, I have been given both a map and a driver! My map is the Bible, and my driver is God. He knows the road better than I do, He designed it. Is it not better to resign myself to the passenger seat?